“The most important boundary one needs to establish is the mental one,” Kondili says. Kondili stresses the importance of talking to “someone who is impartial and can help you navigate the decision rationally, with wisdom and compassion.”īesides counseling, forms of self-care such as yoga, meditation, and journaling can help you continually practice mindfulness and take mental and emotional inventory of how you’re doing. Therapy is key if it’s an option for you. Practice ongoing self-careĭealing with a toxic parent is taxing and often traumatic. This decision is a big deal, so be sure to prepare as much as you can and get the support you need during the process. “This looks different for different people, but the result is usually the same: lack of boundaries and emotional drain.” “A toxic parent fails to provide the child with the emotional, physical, and psychological care they need to thrive and be emotionally healthy and independent,” Kondili says. While it’s normal for all parents to mess up their kids in one way or another, sometimes the overall impact on their children is too destructive. Sometimes, limiting or eliminating contact with a parent is much less damaging than having them in your life. “However, it’s totally healthy and appropriate for individuals to set boundaries with family members.” “We are social beings, and we thrive with community around us, which is why family is emphasized so heavily in our culture,” Cordova says. Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case.
We like to think that with enough work, all parent-child relationships can be healthy, because on some level, all parents are good parents.